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Hi
Can anyone help me correcting the grammar and making this paragraph more concise?
thanks. actually this is about my cover letter which i started to write.
“The described scope of Research fields is very interesting to me. Being a citizen of an under develop country I can see a big potential of such applications, in our society. Especially in the field of Agriculture, I have recently discussed few areas with NGOA where we can focus and utilize our research to save cultivated land and underwater reservoirs. Deploying such cheap and long lasting solutions or in some places Fertilizer based solutions will definitely contribute to increase the productivity of land which will lead to lower prices and High quality food products. Hope if I got this position we will go further to discuss and explore even more real life implementation of academic research in the field of Agriculture. I have gained a verity of software and Hardware knowledge and experience which enables me to pursue my PhD studies in Agriculture Engineering and use these tools to overcome the challenges in the way of development.”
Answer by RE
“The described scope of research fields is very interesting to me. Being a citizen of an underdeveloped country, I can see a big potential for such applications in our society, especially in the field of agriculture, I have recently discussed with NGOA a few areas where we can focus and utilize our research to save cultivated land and underwater reservoirs. Such cheap and long-lasting solutions, or in some cases fertilizer-based solutions, will definitely increase land productivity and lead to lower prices for high quality food products.
I would hope if I got this position we would be able to discuss and explore further real-life implementations of academic research. I have a variety of software and hardware knowledge and experience which will enable me to pursue my PhD studies in Agricultural Engineering and help meet the challenges in this field.”
It might be a little too long for a single paragraph, so I have shown it split into two.
